My first post-depression

Hello My name Is Jake Humphries and this first post is to talk about me trying to get help and the struggle I faced to get help with my depression and about my time in a mental health ward. This story begins back in May this year I felt depressed a long time before that and I felt and thoughts of committing suicide I once considered jumping in front of train and came very close to doing that only my fear of the pain stopped me from doing this, I went to stay with family in Dagenham which didn’t help [I won’t go into many details why for the respect of my family] . One day after a disagreement with a family member I felt like ending my life once again this time I wrote on all my social media accounts(Snapchat,Facebook,Instagram and Twitter) This lead to worried family member to call the police which lead to me being sectioned on what I believe is called Section 135 mental health act, Being in that Hospital was one of the worst experiences I was locked in a room with not a lot of light people watching you and all I could hear was other members of the public shouting and kicking off and the staff on that ward were not very nice, It felt like I've been arrested and felt that I was a criminal how I was treated by the staff I had my assessment I was let go I sort of lied since I had a ticket to Arsenal Vs Norwich that day so I was released in a place I didn’t know and had only a 1 and a half hours to get to the Emirates Stadium, Luckily I was able to make it to the stadium just in time for the match. A few weeks later after a couple more arguments with family member I was feeling at a very low point I use to walk around the streets of London just to relax and one time I was standing on a bridge in London and thought of jumping into the Thames to end my life at this point I was feeling like the end of my life was near, I then googled ending my life which lead to me clicking a link from the samaritans I then got the tube to where the samaritans that were based in London even when waiting for the tube I just wanted to jump in front of the next train I really don’t know how I didn’t kill myself this time. I arrived at the Samaritans I was really nervous I have picked up the courage to go inside the member of the samaritans was so nice it was nice to speak to someone I left the samaritans feeling better of myself and it was nice to unload my pain and feelings of how I was feeling.My family did all they could but getting help in Dagenham was impossible to get help due to the fact I had no GP in the local area, My family took me to a hospital I was asserted they booked me an appointment with a specialist but they cancelled it at the last minute because I didn’t have a local GP, It was like being offered some hope than having it brutally torn out of my Hands, At this point I felt so low after that point.During the period of the next few weeks I felt so low and at this point I just wanted to end it all so I decided to run away I just wanted to run away from my problems for but I as I found out the hard way , I booked myself into a budget hotel and just hid in the room I was planning to take a medicine and attempt to overdose on any tablets I could get my hands at the last minute I called 111 and got proper help.I was admitted to Hospital First I was asked to sit in a waiting area on Emergency department I was scared and frightened I was then taken to a ward In Clacton called the Peter Bruff Ward the staff on the ward were lovely they were friendly and welcoming I spent nearly a month on the ward at first I was scared it was weird being on the ward at first then it started to feel like home, was discharged on Monday 27th June 2 days before my 21st birthday.This where I end my first blog as time will go on I will write more about my life I will talk about a bit more about my Asperger's my struggle to find a job and my views on life mainly about Politics and football.You can follow me on Instagram @jakehumphries14 and on twitter @jakehumphries1.