Attending the British Grand Prix

As many people know I'm a huge fan of formula one and I have attended the British Grand Prix since 2013 so I thought I'll write about my experiences of going to the British Grand Prix.

I first attended the British Grand Prix back in 2013 as a 18th birthday present due to the Grand Prix being June 30th meaning it was one day after my birthday and I got up early and got the coach from Colchester at 5:45. I arrived at Silverstone just before GP2 now F2 race begins and hearing the engines of GP2 was amazing and before the race, I went to the fan zone and raced on a Segway and went on the McLaren 4d simulator. and I brought with my birthday money a Sebastian Vettel cap and a Red Bull racing shirt and then I took my seat for the race at farm curve and I was right by pit exit and hearing the V8 engines for the first time was amazing. The race was interesting and Hamilton suffered a tyre blowout but had an amazing recovery drive and the downside of the day was when Vettel suffered gearbox failure but overall I loved my first time at Silverstone.

I attended the Grand Prix again in 2014 and this when F1 moved to a V6 hybrid engine and I was sitting in Luffield and got to watch an amazing battle between Vettel and Alonso. 2015 and it was the first time I got to see my friends from the BPRL which is the online racing league I got to race in.And I loved meeting up with them and it was the first year Vettel was driving for Ferrari and he finished p3 when I meet up with my friends we walked around the track and it was nice.

2016 I wasn't planning to attend the Grand Prix due only getting out of Hosptial a few weeks ago but my parents paid half of the ticket as a birthday present and it was lovely getting to see my friends again and again we walked the-the side of the track and it was nice I also got to buy my first Ferrari Vettel cap. It was a mixed weather race. 2017 I bought my ticket but I was feeling awful mentally and I didn't want to go but my friends wanted me to come and I was glad I went I hadn't laughed and smiled like I had in a long time I had fun with my friends and after the race, we meet up on the track after the race and it was amazing. I plan to attend the British Grand Prix for all 3 days next season and camp at the track and hope to meet drivers mainly Sebastian Vettel by waiting outside the driver's exit.

Thank you for reading my blog you can follow me on Twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram at jakehumphries14

My love of Arsenal and how it's helped me

I know I've sort of covered this in a previous post nearly a year ago but I want to talk about more about my love for Arsenal and how football helps deal with my depression.

My depression both times has started or begun during the football season so I've got something to distract me and to focus on and when the football season is over and done for the summer I feel lost without Arsenal.I know it sounds silly but I just feel lost without Arsenal to get passionate about to and to focus my energy on and have something to distract me. Going to Matches at the Emirates was my release and is my happy place and one of the happiest days during my depression was when Arsenal Won the FA Cup by beating Chelsea 2-1 my neighbours said a few weeks later they could hear me shouting at the TV seeing Arsenal lift the cup made me feel so happy. I know people will say football doesn't relax you maybe they are right supporting arsenal is a mixture of emotions and me I'm proud that Arsenal brings theses emotions out of me. Also another time Arsenal made me happy was when I went to buy this season Arsenal shirt feeling the proud of buying the shirt on the same day Arsenal Signed Alexandre Lacazette and was so happy since he was a player I had wanted Arsenal to sign for years and then I went on a stadium tour so it was an Arsenal full day for me and I enjoy going to the armoury to buy my shirt and feeling the pride of wearing the Arsenal colours and badge and trying the shirt on for the first time in the fitting room feels me with pride .

Now I'm going to talk a bit about my love for Arsenal again I enjoy going to the Emirates either by myself or with my mum I enjoy doing my usual walk from Highbury & Islington station to the Emirates. stopping to have something to eat and my eyes light up when I see the Emirates for the  time when I see it from Hornsey road and walking into the shop to look at what I can spend my money one and after that to look at Thierry Henry statue as my all time favorite Arsenal player and then I go into the ground and enjoy watching the teams warm up and then the match. if I'm using Finsbury park station I like to go have a look at Arsenal old ground Highbury and see still looks beautiful from the time I first saw her when I went to my first match there at the last season of Highbury e against Manchester City.

My three current favourite Arsenal players are Alexis Sanchez, Alexandre Lacazette and Theo Walcott and my all time Favorite Arsenal player is Thierry Henry who I've written a blog post about and Jens Lehmann and Dennis Bergkamp and  Freddie Ljungberg who I meet when Arsenal invited me and my mum and brother to watch the teams arrive and he was there  and  my favourites arsenal kits are this seasons and the last season at Highbury kit. I also got to meet arsenal Legend Ian Wright when he was working for BT, I also enjoyed going to Wembley twice this year to watch Arsenal once last season for the semi final of the FA Cup against man city and again this season for community shield both times Arsenal won so I was happy.

I have been an Arsenal member since 2004 when I become a junior gunner and then a silver membership and Arsenal were so kind to me when I missed the deadline when I was in hospital with mental health they let me renew late after I wrote to the club and I will always be great to Arsenal. I know if you follow me on social you know I moan and laugh about Arsenal but I will never stop loving arsenal till the day I die.

Thank You for reading this blog post you can follow me on social media on twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram @jakehumphries14 thank you for reading this 

My love for Thierry Henry

As Today (3rd of August) is the anniversary of Thierry Henry joining Arsenal and as he is my all time favourite Arsenal player and a personal hero of mine I thought I would write a little blog post about Thierry.

Thierry Henry joined Arsenal in August the 3rd 1999 from Juventus for an estimated £11 million and he scored his first goal against Southampton and would go onto win 2 league titles and 3 Fa cups with Arsenal and scored in my opinion so many beautiful goals for Arsenal including being the last player to score at Arsenal old ground Highbury and in his time with Arsenal he scored 228 over two stints as and becoming Arsenal captain and all time record goal scorer. Henry would leave Arsenal in June 2007 which broke my heart since I loved Thierry Henry and he would go on to join Barcelona where he would win the champions league and La Liga twice and he would later go on to join New York Red Bulls where during this time he would rejoin Arsenal on loan where he would score on his first game back against Leeds  and he would score in his last match in England against Sunderland.

In my personal opinion, Thierry Henry is and will always be the best player to play for Arsenal Football club my personal favourite goal of Thierry Henry was his goal against Real Madrid in the champions league in 2006 and my saddest moment was when Thierry left Arsenal because as a child I adored Thierry like there was no tomorrow, I had a Thierry Henry poster and I would get his name on the back of all my Arsenal shirts and would any TV show that had Thierry on it and watch every Arsenal and when he left I would watch a few Barcelona matches if Thierry was playing and I would watch France matches if Thierry Henry was playing and it was shown on UK TV. and I enjoy watching Thierry when he is a Panduit on TV and when during the Euro championships and I was in the hospital with mental health I would enjoy watching and listening to Thierry. And my favourite all time memory for me was as a 10-year-old getting to meet Thierry Henry at a Juniors gunners Christmas party this will always be my favourite memory of Henry.

Thank you for reading about my love for Thierry Henry and my reading my blog, in general, please follow me on twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram @jakehumphries14

Depression round 2

In this blog post, I will talk about the return of my depression the reason I'm talking about depression is to raise awareness of mental health and how you should speak to someone rather than keeping it to yourself and letting it build up.

The reason why I believe my depression had returned was just before I was discharged I had stopped taking my medication I believed in myself that I was 100% mentally well again. But soon after I was discharged by my mental health nurse things started to go down hill for me again mentally, I started to feel weak again mentally I was ok but not 100% I started to begin to have self-doubt in myself and my anxiety started again. By June time I had become so anxious and on edge and had so much self-Doubt and I started to develop suicidal thoughts again just over a year since they were last in my head, I just believed in myself I was worthless and I didn't want to be alive anymore and at the moment I began to plan it I googled suicide and ways to commit it and I even planned a day to do it the day I choose was the day after the British Grand Prix the day after I would spend with friends, One day I just had enough and wanted to jump in front of a train and One night I felt I had enough of life and the world and I was planning to take a load of paracetamols and go to sleep and hope to never wake up, I had posted a good night note of Facebook and went to bed in hope I would never wake up but after four  I got scared and began to cry this was at 2 am and people had commented on it and I felt a weird feeling. The next morning I felt sad I felt a failure for not being able to do it not being able to end my life.By this time a friend in Australia had contacted my old form tutor at school and who called for help and I'm so grateful to my old form tutor and my old class mate and friend for calling for help and it began the help I really need, I had to go to hospital and see someone from the mental health team the mental health nurse I saw was really nice and he told me the importance of taking my medication and then we talked a bit about Doctor Who. The first my parents found out how bad my mental health was when the police turned up at my sisters looking for me and then they had to take me to the hospital and I'm so grateful for the love they had shown me. a few weeks before I started paying for private counselling but I felt it wasn't working and I was wasting my money.

A few weeks later a few days before the British Grand Prix and my planned suicide date.  I was back on the medication and still saw my counsellor but I felt so upset with in myself so angry and fed up with my life I called the Samaritans and spoke to them for 20 minutes. Then I remember the card the mental health nurse gave to me in the hospital with a number for the crisis team who I called a had an appointment for Monday but then. I went to see my parents and they know something wasn't alright and when I asked my mum to take me home on the car ride home I told her I didn't want to be alive anymore and then she called the Crisis team who gave me an urgent appointment for Saturday the day before the British Grand Prix and I went to the assessment place and got assessed.  I was told I had clinical depression and I didn't know what to make of it, I was given two options, Option 1 was to go back into Hosptial which I wasn't keen one mainly because I didn't enjoy the last few weeks of the hospital last time I was there and Option 2 was to receive treatment at home was I was very keen on.

The next day I went to the British Grand Prix and saw my friends and they made it the Best British Grand Prix that I had ever attend I hadn't smiled or laughed like how I did for a while they really made me feel like I had true friends and I will always be so grateful to. The Monday after the British Grand Prix I started my treatment for my depression and as of  Today(Monday 31st July)  I was discharged from the Home treatment team and even though I don't feel 100% mentally I feel stronger mentally and starting to get self-belief again.

I would encourage anyone who is struggling with mental health to speak to someone a friend, A family member or a Gp don't bottle it up like I did and let it get so bad like I did. Before I end this I would like to Thank my Family and Friends who have supported me through this.
Thank you for reading this.

My love of trains and getting to ride the Flying Scotsman

Before I start this blog I would like to say sorry for the lack of posts in 2017 I'm struggling to come up with ideas to write about In this post, I will talk about my love of trains and my recent ride on the world famous Flying Scotsman steam train.

My love of trains when I was a little boy with my favourite TV show as a child Thomas the tank engine, My favourite thing to do on weekends was to ride trains on national rail or the London Underground with my nan or grandad. One time when I was about between 5-7 and I was travelling on the London Underground when we meet a jubilee line driver who let me inside his train cab which I loved every moment of it.

One of the trains I loved as a little boy was the Eurostar train and I got to finally ride it when I was about 9 on a family holiday to Disney land I also got to ride the french TGV trains which I enjoyed very much, This was when Eurostar was running out of London waterloo and before HS1 opened which I have ridden twice once from France to London in 2010 and once on the Javelin train between Stratford and London st Pancras.

The first time I got to ride a steam train was in 2006 on a family holiday in Minehead and the holiday park we were staying back onto the West Somerset Railway Heritage Railway which I believe is the longest steam railway in Britain I loved riding the steam trains on the line I think steam trains are beautiful and I hoped since then I would get to ride a steam train again.

My love for the flying Scotsman started when I was a little boy hearing stories about how fast it would travel between London and Edinburgh I dreamed one day of getting to ride her one day but sadly during most of my childhood she was being rebuilt and only came back into service last year I recently brought a canvas of the flying Scotsman travelling past the emirates stadium, I've always wanted to own the flying Scotsman train set but it's hard to get hold of.

I finally got to live my dreams to ride the Flying Scotsman on the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway with a coach holiday and I was so happy the journey went by so fast I felt the line I got to ride on was beautiful scenery I wish the journey was longer I took so many pictures of the train and I even lucky enough to stand on the foot -plate and I got to look inside the cab which I loved I forget to take any pictures sadly since my phone was with the person taking my picture of me on the foot plate.

Thank you for reading this blog post I will try and upload blog posts when I feel I have something passionate to write about If you would like to see  or hear what I'm doing on thinking in a small way you can follow me on social media @
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2016

so with today being 31st December I thought I should write one finally blog post for 2016 with 2016 being a rather bad me for me personally which I'll talk about in more detail in this post.

2016 started off badly for me with the BBC confirming that Doctor Who would not be broadcasted as a series in 2016 only one Christmas also my  I started a new job in a call centre which I was forced to do otherwise I would have lost my JSA, I hated every moment of it I use to have travel to Chelmsford twice a week earning minimum wage, I use to do outbound calls to a client list asking them questions but most of the time I faced angry clients who were unhappy with the company I hated every moment of it, On my final day before I quit the job one client threatened  to take me personally to court for doing the job I hated I just got my stuff got up said I quit to my boss and left knowing I wouldn't be able to claim JSA for 6 months I got on the train back to Clacton feeling worthless and hating everything and the world it was the first time in 2016 I thought about taking my own life after quitting my job I questioned my worthfulness and the point of me living. The next few months were a struggle worrying about money and struggling to find work.

During the struggle months as I like to call them I went to Cardiff in Wales were they film Doctor Who to tour the Tardis set which as a massive Doctor who fan I loved every moment of touring the set, A week later I got to go watch one of my favourite shows The last leg be recorded live in London which I loved my face even featured for a secound on the show. April was the first time I tried and failed in committing suicide which I won't go into much detail since I did this in my first blog and moving down to London and my other attempts of suicide I've already covered in my first blog so I won't go over it again. After that I spent time on a mental health ward which I felt was good for me I meet some nice people and the staff were lovely and caring, During this time we had the EU referendum which Britain voted the EU and David Cameron resigned as Prime minister of the united kingdom I left the mental health ward a few days before my 21st birthday on my 21st birthday I went on a tour of the emirates stadium, during this time I while I was in hospital I missed the deadline to renew my membership to arsenal so Arsenal was nice enough to allow me to renew my membership late.

July I went to the British Grand Prix where I got to meet my friends who I use to race online with I like to go the British grand Prix every year as a massive f1 I love it. I also attended London anniversary games athletics were I got to see Usain Bolt run the 200m sadly I won't be able to go next year due to date being the same day as the British grand Prix, during the summer I mainly watched to Olympics and Paralympics and I loved every moment of it's my main sports of love are athletics and both forms of cycling,In September I went to a charity Arsenal legends match against AC Millan which Arsenal won 4-2 later in the month I went to Arsenal vs Chelsea before the Match I was lucky enough to meet Ian Wright and at Half time I meet the co-host of the last leg Alex Brooker Arsenal went on to win the match 3-0. In October I went to see one of my favourite comedians and host of the last leg Adam Hills stand up gig and was lucky enough to meet him after his show. also In October I went to see Team GB victory display in London when I got home I had a letter in the post from Arsene Wenger manager of Arsenal Football Club which was so positive I've framed it in my bedroom I was also invited to watch the Teams come in for Arsenal vs Reading in the League Cup this is where I meet Freddie Ljungberg an Arsenal legend, I've been to a few arsenal game in this early part of the season.  I also attended the last leg tv recording again and was seen on TV at the end of the episode .the end part of my year has been quiet I've been thinking about what I want to do in the future.

2016 has been a rather bad year for me with some good moment but worldwide we have had the deaths of a lot of famous people the rise of Donald trump, Leicester city winning the premier league and Brexit which we won't know more about until we leave the EU it could be a positive thing for the UK we just don't know yet.

Thank you for reading my blog over the course of this year and all the nice comments and private messages I've received I have been so grateful for these messages of support I hope 2017 will be a great year for me personally I am going to an Arsenal game on new years day and hope to attend a few more Arsenal games, I will be attending Anthony Joshua vs Wladimir Klitschko fight at Wembley stadium, I hope to attend the 2017 Britsih Grand Prix and I also have a ticket to the 200m finals of the  world athletics championships in London one of Usain Bolts Last Races I am a huge fan of Bolt. And I hope finally to find a job and earn my own way in the world.

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Bullying

This is a blog I've wanted to write for a bit now in this blog post I'll talk about my experiences of bullying before I start I won't name names because I've been told by someone who's opinions I regard highly that people can change and bullies can turn out to be nice people so maybe that might be true.

I never experienced bullying really in primary school and at my first secondary school because I knew people but when I moved to Clacton County High school is when I started to experience bullying on my first day with comments about my ears and my teeth and my weight which made me want to cry and I wanted to go back to my old school on my first week with all the horrible  name calling and I was tripped up and laughed at all the time I just use to seat at the back of the class and didn't speak to anyone and I had no friends. Year 7 was hard I only had a few friends and was still subject to name calling towards the end of the year was one of the worst things that will happen to me I just got changed for PE I was waiting outside to go into the gym when I was talking to my friends about a football match that had taken place the night before when a group of students decided to pull my PE shorts and my underwear and my private parts was exposed to my whole PE class and a group of girls who were walking past to their PE class I was horrified and never wanted to go back to school again the punishment the students was light and the students go off lightly and the effects lasted a long time, comments about my penis with my whole year group making comments the rest of year 7 was just awful name calling and now comments about my weight and now my private parts.

Year 8 was no better it turned out people don't grow up over the summer things become more physically getting punched well walking in the corridors twice in year 8 I was beaten up for trying to stand up for myself, year 9 was sort of the same the bullying did get lighter nothing serious happened. Year 10 was when it got worse the bullying was none stop it got to a point where I use to bunk school and classes fake being sick to avoid going to school I had blue tic put in my hair kicked and punched none stop, name calling like retard and Spastic relating to me have Aspergers and not acting like everyone else and for the 2nd time I had my pants pulled down but this time in a classroom, one dream of mine was to become a football referee but when people found out i got on course 3 people started to take the piss and made none stop comments, After this I first thought about taking my own life after this I asked the school to go on an education programme where I only go to school one day a week and a college one day and the rest of the time on work experience after going on the bullying moved to facebook and Xbox live.

After leaving school the bullying really stopped I wonder sometimes if the people who use to bully me every think of their actions and if they have guts to say sorry for making my life hell. Most of my time I use to dream that The Doctor a TV character from Doctor Who and the Tardis was real and I could follow the doctor in running away as you can tell I'm a huge Doctor who fan.

Sorry these blog posts are becoming once a month I'm struggling to find things to write about I hope to write when I find a subject.
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