2017

so I wrote something like this Last year in 2016 so I thought I’ll write something like this again so I start on news years day and I attended the Arsenal Vs crystal palac and saw olivier giroud scorpion goal during the year I've attended many Arsenal games and meet Alex Brooker again from The Last Leg on channel 4. I will go onto the North London derby later in the blog I also went to Wembley twice to watch Arsenal In the Fa cup semi-final against man city which Arsenal won in Extra time and in then to watch Arsenal vs Chelsea in the community shield which Arsenal won on penalties. It was a mixed year For me as arsenal fan they won the FA cup which I was very happy about but finished 5th meaning missing out on champions league football.

I come onto Mental Health I thought I was over depression so I stopped taking my medication but it turned out I had clinical depression it wasn't helped by someone who I thought was my friend but they were just messing me round mentally. I revived treatment under the home treatment team which I preferred because I wanted to go the F1 British grand prix the next day which I'll come onto when I talk formula one I now feel better about myself mentally and have a strong support network.

In April I lived a childhood dream of riding the Flying Scotsman a train I saw pictures of since I was a little boy which I've talked about in a previous blog post I also got to see some of Yorkshire which was beautiful I saw a village that I fell in love with called Haworth. In May I went to my first London theatre show called don juan in soh starting my favourite actor David Tennant who I was delighted I got to meet after the show when I went to the backstage door to meet him which I was so happy about, in June I celebrated my 22nd birthday. In F1 terms it got off to good start for me as a Vettel fan with 5 wins over the course of the season but didn't result in the title but usually I attended the British grand prix and meet up with my friends at Silverstone and had a brilliant day despite the result for Vettel despite only having just had my mental health assessment the day before.

I also attended my first boxing fight I've been watching Anthony Joshua on TV since the Olympics 2012 and I went to Wembley Stadium to watch Anthony Joshua vs Wladimir Klitschko which was an amazing evening in terms of atmospher and the fight was amazing, in between one of the undercard fights I picked up a leaflet for an evening with Anthony Joshua and I paid for the meet and greet up opinion and I had a great evening Anthony was so nice and friendly. I then went to my 2nd fight anthony joshua vs carlo takem fight with my two best friends and I had a good time. I also got to meet my childhood hero Thierry Henry again who I've had a poster of when I was little boy he was nice and I got a selfie with him arsenal also won the match 2-0 against Tottenham so I went home very happy.

I had a good time meeting up with old school friends this year and meet some famous people along the way I've had a great 2017 so I've put the selfies on my Instagram page(jakehumphries14) I've got some big plans for my 2018 tickets to see John Bishop again, going go-karting with my friends and a few arsenal matches and I'm going to announce my big project later in January or February I hope you can follow my advantages on twitter jakehumphries1 and on Instagram jakehumphries14. Thank you for reading my blog in 2017 and I'm looking forward to posting more in 2018

My dealings with mental health services

As I've said in previous blog posts I suffer from depression and have terrible anxiety and in this blog, I would like to talk about mental health services and how I believe there could more to be done to offer people who suffer from mental health.

I will start this blog when I first believed I was suffering from depression I first saw a GP in 2015 and they weren't helpful they just asked me to self-refer to mental health and wasn't told what to do next. I'm not going to go into details about my depression in this blog its already been covered. So I move on to 2016 when I went to stay with my uncle and wasn't with a GP and I wrote a Facebook post about wanting to kill myself and someone called the police and I was placed under a section 135 and I was taken to a mental health place but when I was taken there I was made to feel like a criminal I was locked in a room where the windows were covered up it felt cold. I was cold and I had my mobile phone was taken from me, the staff were rude and cold and when I asked to speak to a lawyer I was told I didn't have that right I was suffering from a mental health problem but the staff there made me feel like a common criminal. I was let go after a few hours there with no offer of support they just they would write to my GP but when I went to my GP and they failed to write to my GP

So a few days later my uncle took me to A&E and the staff were really nice and they got me an appointment with mental health specialist but when I travelled up to the place I was told because I didn't have a GP in the local area I wouldn't be offered any help so I travelled back down to Clacton where I live and I saw my GP like I said the mental health place in Dagenham didn't tell my GP about the section and I was finally put on antidepressants and referred to mental health services. and I was given an appointment the next day which was good and the staff were really nice. But after I few days I got worse and I wanted to kill myself and I rang 111 and the staff were really helpful and I was asked to go to A&E and I was admitted to mental health ward called the peter Bruff ward as a voluntary patient. My time on the ward was nice the staff on the ward were nice but you never really spoke to a specialist about how you felt and why you were there you were left to your own devices, towards the end I meet my aftercare nurse from the specialist mental health team and she was so nice and I was under the specialist mental health team until March 2017 and she was so supportive and nice and I was sad when I was discharged from the specialist mental health service.

I fast word to my 2nd suicide attempt and my family was asked by the police to go to A&E once again I will not go into much detail due to this being covered in a previous post, and the mental health specialist was so nice and friendly we spoke for an hour and he told me why I should take my medication and to see my GP to get my prescription sorted out. I was given an appointment the next day to see my GP but I wasn't referred to a specialist. After a few weeks I got worse and just wanted to end it all I went to my Gp and he said there was nothing else he could do, I remembered this card that I was given when I was at A&E and I called this number for the crisis team and I was given an appointment for a few days but when I still felt that bad I just wanted to end it now my mum called the Crisis team back and they gave me an emergency appointment for the next day. I had my assignment and They recommend I should go under the home treatment team and the staff were so nice but kept asking the same questions so I grow frustrated With them towards the end. But when I was discharged I was offered no support and no information on what to do next so I felt like a fish out of water.

Before I get any messages I'm not attacking the NHS I'm a firm supporter of the NHS and was grateful to NHS for their support they offered me but I believe more could be done more to help people with mental health and in the coming weeks I hope to announce a project I've been working on for a few weeks and I will announce it on this blog and my social media first.

Thank you for reading this blog you can follow me on Instagram for my advantages @jakehumphries14 and twitter JakeHumphries1. 

Anxiety

I have spoken in the past about my issues with depression and hinted towards my issues with anxiety but in this post, i'll talk more about my issues with anxiety in this blog post.

when I was younger I was always nervous and scared of the littlest things but as I've got worse my anxiety has taken over a lot with the depression, I get anxious very quickly now some days I'm too nervous to even answer the phone.When I walking down a street the sound of a car horn can make me jump and I get all nervous and scared.I can just get anxious over a little thing something in the news, the phone ringing, someone calling me in street and I'm just in general scared of the littlest thing.

 My anxiety also affects my depression I was suffering from it badly one the day I was attending John Bishop I was debating whether to attend.I  get so nervous even riding the London Underground I don't like waiting on the platform and when I'm waiting I wait at the back of the platform because I'm scared of the tracks.

I also suffer terribly from social anxiety I get nervous in large and small groups I get nervous when I meeting new people, Because of this I tend to not talk to people when I go to events and football matches but if someone talks to me I'm not rude and I speak to them but I get very nervous that's why I chose to have a small group of close friends. when I was doing volunteering for Douglas Carswell I got very nervous speaking to members of the public that's why I choose not to do canvassing for him and just delivered leaflets.As I've said in the past I was made to work in a call centre I hated having to ringing clients on a list I got so nervous and got so scared when clients use to unload their problems on me and I get so nervous and scared I just wanted to cry some days in that job because I had to deal with so many random people in a day. I just wish sometimes I didn't feel so anxious around people and I hope to find a way around this issue one day but it could take some time I just fell so weird when I meet new people. Even at my volunteering job at a community centre I sit on reception and meet and greet and to be honest it's really helping me with my anxiety and I feel this could be a route to helping over coming to this issue but I still get nervous but I believe this helping me.

 I hope one day I can overcome anxiety and social anxiety and I believe volunteering and believing in myself  I can overcome this. Thank you for reading this blog you can follow me on Instagram jakehumphries14 and Twitter jakehumphries1 I am also on snapchat at jakef1-95

John Bishop

I have decided to write a blog about my favourite stand up comedian John Bishop and how he cheers me up when I'm down.

I first became aware of John Bishop when he was a panellist on the TV show a League of their own and I found him funny from day one, He was the first stand up comedy DVD I bought was his second stand up tour Sunshine. And I found Sunshine so funny and loved every minute of it, I then brought his first stand up tour DVD Elvis has left the building and my favourite tour of his on DVD Rollercoaster I found that tour so funny on DVD.
My first time I went to see John Bishop was in Regents theatre in Ipswich and I enjoyed every moment I was lucky enough to meet John on my way from the gig and he was lovely to meet so friendly, and he even tweeted nice to meet you which made my day. I then went on the same tour to see him in Supersonic at Wembley arena and I enjoyed the tour and bought the DVD as soon as it came out.


I recently went to  his latest tour winging it at the o2 and I was feeling down with anxiety and was debating whether or not to attend the show but I'm glad I did I enjoyed every moment and I will be going to the show again In Ipswich with my nan and my mate and I'm so looking forward to it. When I'm feeling down I put on a John Bishop DVD to cheer me up and it normally does because his so funny and I enjoy watching him.

Thank you for reading my blog you can follow me on Twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram jakehumphries14.Jmy 

Friendship

friendship is described as a Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association and I'm blessed to have many great friends and I will tell you how I meet some of my friends.

most of my friends I meet tough the BPRL which is an online racing league I use to take part in, On the Xbox and I have spoken and chatted with some fantastic people through Xbox and on our group chat on facebook and on snapchat. ever since 2015 at the British Grand Prix we have met up at the grand prix ever since I have met my friend Josh Saban at the formula E  and he was nice enough to win me a prize to meet some F1 drivers I have met some fantastic people through the BPRL like Josh Mills, Josh, Saban,Alex Fearon, Karl Chard, Rees Foreman, Matteo Erminio Sardu, and George Mullen , I looking forward to meeting many people from the BPRL like Sean, Jay and Wanye from Ireland and many people from the BPRL. and I'm not forgetting my best friend Alex Fearon who was there for me in my darkest hour, and I have met him 4 times and was so happy when he came to the Anthony Joshua fight with me and my other best friend Ben Walcott who I'll come on to in a bit.

Next coming to my friend Dan Curme who I meet while in school we were in the same form and we've always got along well and joke about football with him being a Chelsea fan and me being an Arsenal fan, And I was happy to meet up with him again at the community shield this year at Wembley. Next I have my mate David Butt who we went to school together but never spoke till we went to college together and we have got on very well playing Xbox sharing the same interests and have got on very well.

Now I'll come on to my two Friends from my old form group at school Becca Stone and Ben Walcott. Becca was a girl in my form Group and she was nice and we saw each other again when I was volunteering for Douglas Carswell and then we ran into each other again when I was coming home from an Arsenal Match and we had a nice chat she is now travelling the world but was still there for me when I needed help.Ben Walcott was a person  who I went to school and he stuck up for me when people use to pick on me, Sadly we lost touch but started speaking again when he commented on my picture with Anthony Joshua and we met up for a coffee and had a great chat we have been to the Anthony Joshua fight together with his dad and my mate Alex and we had a great time.

I'm blessed to have so many great friends and me sorry if I missed anyone out but these people have been amazing towards me. 

Thank you for reading this blog and you can follow me on Twitter @jakehumphries1 and Instagram JakeHumphries14

Attending the British Grand Prix

As many people know I'm a huge fan of formula one and I have attended the British Grand Prix since 2013 so I thought I'll write about my experiences of going to the British Grand Prix.

I first attended the British Grand Prix back in 2013 as a 18th birthday present due to the Grand Prix being June 30th meaning it was one day after my birthday and I got up early and got the coach from Colchester at 5:45. I arrived at Silverstone just before GP2 now F2 race begins and hearing the engines of GP2 was amazing and before the race, I went to the fan zone and raced on a Segway and went on the McLaren 4d simulator. and I brought with my birthday money a Sebastian Vettel cap and a Red Bull racing shirt and then I took my seat for the race at farm curve and I was right by pit exit and hearing the V8 engines for the first time was amazing. The race was interesting and Hamilton suffered a tyre blowout but had an amazing recovery drive and the downside of the day was when Vettel suffered gearbox failure but overall I loved my first time at Silverstone.

I attended the Grand Prix again in 2014 and this when F1 moved to a V6 hybrid engine and I was sitting in Luffield and got to watch an amazing battle between Vettel and Alonso. 2015 and it was the first time I got to see my friends from the BPRL which is the online racing league I got to race in.And I loved meeting up with them and it was the first year Vettel was driving for Ferrari and he finished p3 when I meet up with my friends we walked around the track and it was nice.

2016 I wasn't planning to attend the Grand Prix due only getting out of Hosptial a few weeks ago but my parents paid half of the ticket as a birthday present and it was lovely getting to see my friends again and again we walked the-the side of the track and it was nice I also got to buy my first Ferrari Vettel cap. It was a mixed weather race. 2017 I bought my ticket but I was feeling awful mentally and I didn't want to go but my friends wanted me to come and I was glad I went I hadn't laughed and smiled like I had in a long time I had fun with my friends and after the race, we meet up on the track after the race and it was amazing. I plan to attend the British Grand Prix for all 3 days next season and camp at the track and hope to meet drivers mainly Sebastian Vettel by waiting outside the driver's exit.

Thank you for reading my blog you can follow me on Twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram at jakehumphries14

My love of Arsenal and how it's helped me

I know I've sort of covered this in a previous post nearly a year ago but I want to talk about more about my love for Arsenal and how football helps deal with my depression.

My depression both times has started or begun during the football season so I've got something to distract me and to focus on and when the football season is over and done for the summer I feel lost without Arsenal.I know it sounds silly but I just feel lost without Arsenal to get passionate about to and to focus my energy on and have something to distract me. Going to Matches at the Emirates was my release and is my happy place and one of the happiest days during my depression was when Arsenal Won the FA Cup by beating Chelsea 2-1 my neighbours said a few weeks later they could hear me shouting at the TV seeing Arsenal lift the cup made me feel so happy. I know people will say football doesn't relax you maybe they are right supporting arsenal is a mixture of emotions and me I'm proud that Arsenal brings theses emotions out of me. Also another time Arsenal made me happy was when I went to buy this season Arsenal shirt feeling the proud of buying the shirt on the same day Arsenal Signed Alexandre Lacazette and was so happy since he was a player I had wanted Arsenal to sign for years and then I went on a stadium tour so it was an Arsenal full day for me and I enjoy going to the armoury to buy my shirt and feeling the pride of wearing the Arsenal colours and badge and trying the shirt on for the first time in the fitting room feels me with pride .

Now I'm going to talk a bit about my love for Arsenal again I enjoy going to the Emirates either by myself or with my mum I enjoy doing my usual walk from Highbury & Islington station to the Emirates. stopping to have something to eat and my eyes light up when I see the Emirates for the  time when I see it from Hornsey road and walking into the shop to look at what I can spend my money one and after that to look at Thierry Henry statue as my all time favorite Arsenal player and then I go into the ground and enjoy watching the teams warm up and then the match. if I'm using Finsbury park station I like to go have a look at Arsenal old ground Highbury and see still looks beautiful from the time I first saw her when I went to my first match there at the last season of Highbury e against Manchester City.

My three current favourite Arsenal players are Alexis Sanchez, Alexandre Lacazette and Theo Walcott and my all time Favorite Arsenal player is Thierry Henry who I've written a blog post about and Jens Lehmann and Dennis Bergkamp and  Freddie Ljungberg who I meet when Arsenal invited me and my mum and brother to watch the teams arrive and he was there  and  my favourites arsenal kits are this seasons and the last season at Highbury kit. I also got to meet arsenal Legend Ian Wright when he was working for BT, I also enjoyed going to Wembley twice this year to watch Arsenal once last season for the semi final of the FA Cup against man city and again this season for community shield both times Arsenal won so I was happy.

I have been an Arsenal member since 2004 when I become a junior gunner and then a silver membership and Arsenal were so kind to me when I missed the deadline when I was in hospital with mental health they let me renew late after I wrote to the club and I will always be great to Arsenal. I know if you follow me on social you know I moan and laugh about Arsenal but I will never stop loving arsenal till the day I die.

Thank You for reading this blog post you can follow me on social media on twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram @jakehumphries14 thank you for reading this 

My love for Thierry Henry

As Today (3rd of August) is the anniversary of Thierry Henry joining Arsenal and as he is my all time favourite Arsenal player and a personal hero of mine I thought I would write a little blog post about Thierry.

Thierry Henry joined Arsenal in August the 3rd 1999 from Juventus for an estimated £11 million and he scored his first goal against Southampton and would go onto win 2 league titles and 3 Fa cups with Arsenal and scored in my opinion so many beautiful goals for Arsenal including being the last player to score at Arsenal old ground Highbury and in his time with Arsenal he scored 228 over two stints as and becoming Arsenal captain and all time record goal scorer. Henry would leave Arsenal in June 2007 which broke my heart since I loved Thierry Henry and he would go on to join Barcelona where he would win the champions league and La Liga twice and he would later go on to join New York Red Bulls where during this time he would rejoin Arsenal on loan where he would score on his first game back against Leeds  and he would score in his last match in England against Sunderland.

In my personal opinion, Thierry Henry is and will always be the best player to play for Arsenal Football club my personal favourite goal of Thierry Henry was his goal against Real Madrid in the champions league in 2006 and my saddest moment was when Thierry left Arsenal because as a child I adored Thierry like there was no tomorrow, I had a Thierry Henry poster and I would get his name on the back of all my Arsenal shirts and would any TV show that had Thierry on it and watch every Arsenal and when he left I would watch a few Barcelona matches if Thierry was playing and I would watch France matches if Thierry Henry was playing and it was shown on UK TV. and I enjoy watching Thierry when he is a Panduit on TV and when during the Euro championships and I was in the hospital with mental health I would enjoy watching and listening to Thierry. And my favourite all time memory for me was as a 10-year-old getting to meet Thierry Henry at a Juniors gunners Christmas party this will always be my favourite memory of Henry.

Thank you for reading about my love for Thierry Henry and my reading my blog, in general, please follow me on twitter @jakehumphries1 and on Instagram @jakehumphries14

Depression round 2

In this blog post, I will talk about the return of my depression the reason I'm talking about depression is to raise awareness of mental health and how you should speak to someone rather than keeping it to yourself and letting it build up.

The reason why I believe my depression had returned was just before I was discharged I had stopped taking my medication I believed in myself that I was 100% mentally well again. But soon after I was discharged by my mental health nurse things started to go down hill for me again mentally, I started to feel weak again mentally I was ok but not 100% I started to begin to have self-doubt in myself and my anxiety started again. By June time I had become so anxious and on edge and had so much self-Doubt and I started to develop suicidal thoughts again just over a year since they were last in my head, I just believed in myself I was worthless and I didn't want to be alive anymore and at the moment I began to plan it I googled suicide and ways to commit it and I even planned a day to do it the day I choose was the day after the British Grand Prix the day after I would spend with friends, One day I just had enough and wanted to jump in front of a train and One night I felt I had enough of life and the world and I was planning to take a load of paracetamols and go to sleep and hope to never wake up, I had posted a good night note of Facebook and went to bed in hope I would never wake up but after four  I got scared and began to cry this was at 2 am and people had commented on it and I felt a weird feeling. The next morning I felt sad I felt a failure for not being able to do it not being able to end my life.By this time a friend in Australia had contacted my old form tutor at school and who called for help and I'm so grateful to my old form tutor and my old class mate and friend for calling for help and it began the help I really need, I had to go to hospital and see someone from the mental health team the mental health nurse I saw was really nice and he told me the importance of taking my medication and then we talked a bit about Doctor Who. The first my parents found out how bad my mental health was when the police turned up at my sisters looking for me and then they had to take me to the hospital and I'm so grateful for the love they had shown me. a few weeks before I started paying for private counselling but I felt it wasn't working and I was wasting my money.

A few weeks later a few days before the British Grand Prix and my planned suicide date.  I was back on the medication and still saw my counsellor but I felt so upset with in myself so angry and fed up with my life I called the Samaritans and spoke to them for 20 minutes. Then I remember the card the mental health nurse gave to me in the hospital with a number for the crisis team who I called a had an appointment for Monday but then. I went to see my parents and they know something wasn't alright and when I asked my mum to take me home on the car ride home I told her I didn't want to be alive anymore and then she called the Crisis team who gave me an urgent appointment for Saturday the day before the British Grand Prix and I went to the assessment place and got assessed.  I was told I had clinical depression and I didn't know what to make of it, I was given two options, Option 1 was to go back into Hosptial which I wasn't keen one mainly because I didn't enjoy the last few weeks of the hospital last time I was there and Option 2 was to receive treatment at home was I was very keen on.

The next day I went to the British Grand Prix and saw my friends and they made it the Best British Grand Prix that I had ever attend I hadn't smiled or laughed like how I did for a while they really made me feel like I had true friends and I will always be so grateful to. The Monday after the British Grand Prix I started my treatment for my depression and as of  Today(Monday 31st July)  I was discharged from the Home treatment team and even though I don't feel 100% mentally I feel stronger mentally and starting to get self-belief again.

I would encourage anyone who is struggling with mental health to speak to someone a friend, A family member or a Gp don't bottle it up like I did and let it get so bad like I did. Before I end this I would like to Thank my Family and Friends who have supported me through this.
Thank you for reading this.

My love of trains and getting to ride the Flying Scotsman

Before I start this blog I would like to say sorry for the lack of posts in 2017 I'm struggling to come up with ideas to write about In this post, I will talk about my love of trains and my recent ride on the world famous Flying Scotsman steam train.

My love of trains when I was a little boy with my favourite TV show as a child Thomas the tank engine, My favourite thing to do on weekends was to ride trains on national rail or the London Underground with my nan or grandad. One time when I was about between 5-7 and I was travelling on the London Underground when we meet a jubilee line driver who let me inside his train cab which I loved every moment of it.

One of the trains I loved as a little boy was the Eurostar train and I got to finally ride it when I was about 9 on a family holiday to Disney land I also got to ride the french TGV trains which I enjoyed very much, This was when Eurostar was running out of London waterloo and before HS1 opened which I have ridden twice once from France to London in 2010 and once on the Javelin train between Stratford and London st Pancras.

The first time I got to ride a steam train was in 2006 on a family holiday in Minehead and the holiday park we were staying back onto the West Somerset Railway Heritage Railway which I believe is the longest steam railway in Britain I loved riding the steam trains on the line I think steam trains are beautiful and I hoped since then I would get to ride a steam train again.

My love for the flying Scotsman started when I was a little boy hearing stories about how fast it would travel between London and Edinburgh I dreamed one day of getting to ride her one day but sadly during most of my childhood she was being rebuilt and only came back into service last year I recently brought a canvas of the flying Scotsman travelling past the emirates stadium, I've always wanted to own the flying Scotsman train set but it's hard to get hold of.

I finally got to live my dreams to ride the Flying Scotsman on the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway with a coach holiday and I was so happy the journey went by so fast I felt the line I got to ride on was beautiful scenery I wish the journey was longer I took so many pictures of the train and I even lucky enough to stand on the foot -plate and I got to look inside the cab which I loved I forget to take any pictures sadly since my phone was with the person taking my picture of me on the foot plate.

Thank you for reading this blog post I will try and upload blog posts when I feel I have something passionate to write about If you would like to see  or hear what I'm doing on thinking in a small way you can follow me on social media @
Twitter @JakeHumphries1
Instagram @jakejumphries14